Random Fun
by DoahShadow
Summary: The collections of stories that are to be found within are done by me and my friend Unikardo. It's mostly me and him arguing or putting a bunch of characters in extremely bad situations. Readers, BEWARE! Do not hate! Just enjoy it and we hope you like it!
1. Ken Master

The king of fighters was Ken Masters who got his ass kicked by Ryu in a dream. When ken had a woken he had wet his pants with sperm that came from hot sex with his wife. Then he had realized the person he thought was his wife was a man named Vega. Then he awoke from the second nightmare that was caused by the opium that he had brought from South Town from a transsexual drug dealer named Benimaru .

"What the fuck is going on with these dreams of mine? Why the fuck is Benimaru a transsexual?" he thought to himself as he got up and looked out the window of his mansion.

His maid Samus had came to give Ken his daily medicine that makes him "more of a man"… What is meant to be type was that it makes him less attractive because if he wasn't, guys would all be gay. Well maybe that's way Benimaru is always knocking on the front door. … Ok… Back on track now… next paragraph please! ; )

Ken Masters the master man who he thinks he is all the time… well maybe he could have gotten his wife knocked up if it wasn't for the help of Ryu. What!?! Please! Now you're being ridiculous, he got Elisa pregnant in Street Fighter 4 while Ryu was having dreams of Akuma. Akuma didn't wanted to bother Ken Masters because Akuma thinks Ken is just a great big U know what I'm going to put… and Akuma doesn't need him.

Please, in Street Fighter 2 the animated series, Ken defeated Akuma without breaking a sweat while Ryu was bitching about his broken arm and their master's death. The reason why Ken had beaten Akuma was because he had gotten his ass kicked by Ryu. Now we should go on to the next part. Not until Ryu does this.

Ryu walks into a brothel in South Town. After paying the bouncer with a hand job, he walked in to see what they got to offer. As the many beautiful women came out, two men caught his eyes. They were Terry and Rock. He walked up to them and forced them into a room and had his way with their asses. Now we could move on to part 2! : ) (DoahShadow rules!)

Not so fast

This is Ken

:D ====B

What does it looks like its Kens favorite toy

Now we can move on!

UNIKARDO RULES!!!

Join I.D.P


	2. King

-1South Town is the place where I had lived for all my life. Growing up in the harsh streets wasn't an easy job for a young girl like me. So what?

Snap fingers 3 times, what! My name is King and I'm the strongest and hottest chick around these parts. My only competition is Mai the Andy slut. I have nothing else to say.

Well only that I heard a rumor that the reason why Andy didn't show in KOF XI was that Mai was pregnant and that she had given him a std. Then again, it's only a rumor… Anywho, I was playing Resident Evil 5… scratch that, Blacksite Area 51 and I swear that I saw Saddam Husain.

Then when I was browsing the web I found a picture of Hitler and it was modern… I don't think he's dead……… well even if he is still alive… that was a great movie "stay alive"… well where was I? … Speaking of pics on the web, my friend found a Monster Hunter pic of a chick in Kirin armor. It was hot as hell and since I'm King… I could tap that fine ass once in my life… well that's it for my lesbian moment well I would like you to know that I really want some of that K', k.

What!? He's hot and so is Kim. Fuck Angel! She can't have none of them that two timing hussy. She… that's a different story.

Well last night I had a dream of K' kicking ass and taking names it made me so HOT!!! ; ) The reason he was taking names is because he hates his name. Come on, kicking ass because K is the only letter in the alphabet. What a dumb ass. … Ok… Oh yea, the other guy I would bang is Duke Nukem. He is hardcore! " I'm going to kick ass and chew bubblegum, and I'm all out of gum!" That is so sexy! I love his Balls. His Balls of Steel. The other line I like is the one I said to Iori before I ran for my life. It was "You're an inspiration for birth control." I guess he got so mad that he released his orochi. I think he had killed Duck I think he just got in the way. Anywho, It just I guess it's that time of the month. Bye bye baby it's time for me to have a girls night with Yuri!


	3. Bastard

-1L33t:Hola

DarkHunt3r: A/S/l?

DarkQueenSP: 80, kiss my ass, and up your ass

L33t: 18, yes please, with you ;-)

DarkHunt3r: I feel the love. I'm 13, female, and in the uk. DarkQueenSP, is it cozy in there? So l33t, are you packing or receiving?

L33t: Whatever you want baby!

DarkQueenSp: You just met her and you are already calling her baby? What kind of shit is that?

DarkHunt3r: L33t, I want u to take it and all of your holes and DarkQueen bitch. Mind your own business you old ass scant. Im going to take a shit so open wide.

L33t: Well I love to roleplay a bit during so what do u want to play?

DarkQueenSP: Why don't u take ur shit and shove it up your granny's ass!

DarkHunt3r: F U old lady and don't cha talk shit about my old lady like that. F u!!!!!! So L33t, let's play cop and pedophile

L33t:?

L33t:

L33t: who r u and what do you want I know you work for the hellsing corporation!!

DarkHunt3r: That's right, Im Alucard and I have both of you guys surrounded. I know one of u is a monster and im leaning towards u l33t. so, hows this shit going down?

L33t: 

L33t: ROTFLOL

L33t:Do you know who I am?

DarkHunt3r: So u r the one im after after all! I got u now I-no.

L33t: ?

L33t: I-no

L33t: Who the hell is that I just come out the bathroom to find my computer on and chating and who r u

DarkHunt3r: In three seconds im going to bust down the wall and put a silver bullet through ya!

L33t: Wait! No I'm still a virgin!!

DarkQueenSp: So what?? 13 yeARs old these day

DarkHunt3r: 1

L33t: come on I'm telling u I'm not the person ur after

DarkHunt3r: 2

DarkQueenSp: Why r u counting down? R u going to take a shit?

L33t: go to hell!

DarkHunt3r: 3

DarkHunt3r: Breaks down the wall and kills I-no who happens to be DarkQueenSp.

DarkHunt3r: Now where were we virgin beauty?

L33t: now we're talking

DarkSchneider: 

DarkSchneider: you got the wrong person dumbass

DarkHunt3r: …. Not again… Oh well fuck it! Want 2 have a threesome?

DarkSchneider: Only if there are more ladies

DarkHunt3r: I got a blonde bitch waiting 4 some… FUCK!! GOTTA GO! MY MASTERs CUMING! Ttyl

DarkHunt3r logs out and DarkQueenSp vanishes as well…

DarkSchneider: So L33t do u have a sister?

….Window error 1213421445oo024rfWTF…….Bluescreen of death……. Mac crashes 2!..... Linux rulez!!!


	4. Fable

-1"Big Brother"

"What do you want Raven?"

"I need help"

"What does the future hero of Albioin need help in?"

"With my homework"

"Homework is for women and whores! As the greatest evil around these parts, I suggest that you don't do it."

"If not they are going to fail me"

"Look, do what I did. Burn down the school and kill a couple of kids and teachers. You will graduate faster than a hob on ale."

"Well do you know what my homework is?"

"No… What is it?"

"To kill a whole village, but I don't want to I'm on the last level of final fantasy."

"What!? The last level of final fantasy 13? How the hell did you do it? Fuck the village, I'll summon a monster to do it for you. Now, what's going on in the game?"

"Well you see that big asshole boss, he's trying to destroy the world and he's about to die."

"Wow! That is getting me hard."

"Big Brother, you always get hard from big assholes like him. This will be the final attack before he dies."

Power outage…

"NOOO!!!! I was denied my satisfaction! Just like that time the hero bitch failed to kill me! I need release!"

Raven cries, "I didn't save for the last 10 hours!!!"

"Why must the world be so cruel?!!! Now what?"

"I'll be back!"

Raven goes and come back in 10 hours.

"What kept you?"

"I destroyed the bastards that cut the power and his whole village!"

"That's my little Raven! You always did know how to make each other very happy. Ahh… I'm hard again."

"Go jack off to septh, like you always do I'm not in the mood."

"Its not giving me the satisfaction that it used to."

"Well only this time I'm a little wet."

"That's a first; I never knew that you could get wet? How old are you again?"

"Well you did found me 18 years ago in the allyway when I was a baby."

"That's right. I remember those days… I still can't believe our mother Sparrow abandoned us in separate towns. I swear that she did it on purpose. I think I finally know why…"

"Yeah…... why?"

"You know, you look a lot like our mother. That same beautiful face, those perky breast and plumb ass. It drives guys crazy…"

"Also I had heard people say that I'm some type of reincarnation of a goddess of some sort."

"I believe it was Durga?"

"Doesn't she protects the gates to hell?"

"She does… And I think it's about time that someone opened them."

"I think you got the wrong gates… I protect the gates to heaven."

"No, I know which the right gate is and there is nothing that is going to stop me from taking what I now desire."

Random person comes in, "Big Brother there is someone waiting for you outside."

Big brother shoots the person with a level 5 inferno spell. He cracks his neck and removes his cape. His red eyes glow with lust and his horns glow brighter. "Now, where were we?"


	5. Metroid

-1I was drifting in space with my hunter class ship when I received a distress call from an unknown ship in sector 9. I had just made it to sector 9. I landed on the hanger bay then I saw a dead body it was green. I went in to touch it and it was hard like a metal. I turn it over to reveal that it was a large turtle. I scan the hangar to see three more and a large rat. I was confused until I was snapped back to reality with gunfire and a loud high pitch teenage scream that sounded kinda girly.

When I seen what had made that scream it was a guy. I had scanned his body to find out that it was Kira. He was a man that was wanted for mass murder. I slowly approached him but stopped when two shadows approached. One was that of a giant green armor man and a teenage boy with a green tunic with pointy ears that resemble the Eldarian race from the Star Ocean. I knew that I had the superior firepower and the edge. My secret weapon, but I wasn't going to do anything hasty. The giant armor man pointed at Kira and ordered him to come but the elf looking guy drew his sword at him… What the heck is going on? Well just looking at the elf looking guy I knew he wasn't any problems, but when I heard another voice I seen it came from a floating being I just thought WTF!

"Master Chief! We should cooperate with Link instead of fighting against him. Kira is wanted by both of our people and we have another problem."

They all turn around and finally notice Samus. About time right? Seriously, anywho……

"Look, I'm taking in Kira and if you try to stop me then I would frag all of you."

All three of them knew by looking at the armor clad warrior that it was the almighty bounty hunter Samus. They all bowed down and began to worship her. Even a green dinosaur that came out of nowhere did the same thing.

"Now that's what I'm talking about! DoahShadow, you are the man!"

"Puta" said Kira. Well luckily Samus knew Japanese to tell that he was calling her a pig. Well it was her last mission before going home to her husband and kids. Well Samus just took Master Chief's gun and shot kira.

"You can keep him if you want."

'She has kids? When did she start popping out babies?'

"Bad Angel, you can't keep saying things like that. You are as bad as Unikardo!"

Master Chief and Link both started praying that the god Unikardo Doesn't kill them all for blasphemy!

Yoshi sticks his tounge out at Unikardo and the evil monkey in the closet throws poop at him. The End and happily ever after! DoahShadow rules! ; )

'Bull crap! DoahShadow doesn't rule! I do with my giant of a man Titan!'

Joker!

"Very funny story do you have another!" said Batman

"I got plenty."


	6. Pokemon

-1'It was a beautiful sunny day in Kanto as we join our three heroes in their journey to become pokemon masters!'

"insert 1st season theme song here"

Our heroes were walking towards their next gym battle when they heard, "Fon Fon where are you?"

The only girl in the group yells to the two guys, "Fon Fon! Fucking japanese! Why can't they use normal names!"

'As the chick continues to yell, her shirt rises up slowly showing the cleavage of her titty bombs'

As sunabouzu lifts up the chicks shirt a guy said "restoration" and sunabouzu went flying.

'I'll be back!'

"What the hell! I hate that narrator! I didn't say that you fucking pervert! I said why do the Japanese use weird names! I didn't say I hate them! I love them for crying out loud!"

"Calm down Chica, you just have to ignore the narrator and keep the story going."

"Ok Boy. Thanks for the advice. So, who are you? Are you Fon Fon?"

'As Chica turns around, she magically gets a skirt that begins to rise as the wind blows harshly from my mouth'

As the other guy notices what desert punk was doing, his face got red, and punts that shorty out of the world.

'DAMN YOU ROY'

'I'm sorry but, to tell the truth '

Sunabouzu yells to the world, 'ROY LOVES CHICA!'

"You love me Roy?"

"HAHA! Roy loves Chica! Roy and Chica sitting in a tre-

A girl with silver hair kicks Boy in the shin so hard that he shitted bricks.

"Baka!"

"I'm going to the bathroom; excuse me for a minute…"

Roy runs off to the nearby forest.

'Now that he's gone and there are now two girls… My fun can begin in milk jug mountain! HAHAHAHA! Oh shit!'

Roy pulls out his secret weapon

Sunabouzu sees Roy and see that he has the new 45 colt that he always wanted

Roy yells out, "If I don't get to see them nobody's could!"

Boy and Sunabouza yells out at the same time, "who's the pervert now!"

A random Pikachu scratches its head as it watches the weirdness of the human fools.

Roy starts to shoot Sunabouzu and tells him to dance.

'Never! I summon a ship that picks me up and takes me away to a resort full of hot naked ladies with booby bombs!'

Roy says, "Finally we can have peace and quiet" Roy looks around and sees everybody had heard what he said

"Baka!"

"I going to have to agree with Felli sempai on this one."

Felli kicks Fon Fon in the shin for addressing her as sempai.

"Seriously, you just broke the unspoken rule! Never said that it is going to be peaceful and quiet!" Boy and Chica yelled at the same time.

Team Rocket shows up with a few disks in their hands

"Restoration!"

"This is going to be a long day!"


	7. BEWARE!

-1Shit town usa, that's where Bryan Fury the gay homosexual lives. With his bionic lover Jack. The two were renting out a condo twelve miles southwest of South Town, and 20 miles east of Kanto. The two just came out of the shower then they began to sing just like high school musical Troy and Gabriel. As soon as they hit the bed their hooker John Cena began to rub Bryan's junk while Batista sucked off Jack. As soon as Batista was finished with Jack, Jack had took Batista's arm and bend him over. Jack's pulled out his vibrating snake and thrust it into him roughly. John has also bent over taking it in the rear when Itachi bent over and began to kiss him as his little brother Sasuke sucked him off. Soon afterwards vegeta came into the shot with Broly holding hands. Vegeta bent over eating out Sasuke ass while Broly's small penis was thrashing Vegaeta's ass. The shower began to run and a loud scream could be heard as it belongs to San Goku who was taking it by Sanzo, Hakkai and the perverted kappa Gojyo. After 10 minutes they heard a knock at the door it was Jessie from team rocket she said, "your being to loud so be quiet!"

As soon as everybody heard her they came and killed her. Alucard and Alucard began to drink her blood and bathe in it. Alucard turned into a wolf and began to ride Alucard as Cloud walked in making out with the fiend Kefkka. 5 minutes later Ken masters came in with Ryu and then they started making out with Master Chief. After awhile, Kiba came in with Kiba and they rode all three of them as Terry and Rock rode one another. AS the sun began to rise, Orphen appeared and made it night and began to ride Magnus as he ate out Megaman's robotic ass. Kaiba and Yugi were making out as Garra was fucking himself roughly with his sand power. Jackie Chan was fingering Jet Lee as Blade takes it in the ass by Raven who is fingering Law. As the massive orgy reaches the climax, Jack Sparrow walked in late to the party due to excessive drinking and was blasted through the window by the gallons of sperm that exploded out the room. The end.

If you hate this story type 1, If you love this story type 2, If you have something else in mind…hold on…


	8. Oblivion

-1The sun began to set off the coast of the Atlantic ocean as a shadow approaches a loan figure that was sleeping on the beach. As she got closer, she admired the man that she had married years ago. He was taller now than he ever was before and hotter than ever. Even in his dreams, she could see the evil smirk that won her heart years ago. His short black hair and black eyes were as dangerous as a viper ready to strike. So what if his hair doesn't seem dangerous, if a girl took a whiff of it, they will be intoxicated by the delicious aroma that will over take them. The black eyes of his were piercing and allow him to read into a person's very soul. Jade smiled as she knelt down and straddle him waking up DoahShadow from his slumber.

"Hey beautiful, I guess I fell asleep," Doahshadow replies as Jade leans towards him and kisses him deeply.

As the two lovers made out with one another, DoahShadow's dearest friend and demon body guard averted his gaze in disgust. Due to DoahShadow's evil plans, they were both brought back from the gates of hell into this pathetic world. Then again, things will be better if he didn't lose the love of his life, Angelina. Unikardo looked back at his master and saw that both of them were approaching him.

"So, what's the plan?" asked Unikardo as he watched DoahShadow gently squeezed his beloved rump.

"We are going to take over Oblivion which will allow us to take over the Imperial City and then the world."

"Now that's a plan," Jade said as she kisses DoahShadow again.

Unikardo rolls his eyes as he watches the night sky for any changes that could be seen as danger. As Unikardo searches around he notices heavy breathing and wheezing coming from a distance. He thought, "Damn cigarettes addict." Then he remembers that in this world there are no cigarettes. As he came to his senses a smoker had grabbed Jade while she was kissing DoahShadow. As Jade was being chocked DoahShadow was trying to free her from the smokers grip. In a split second Unikardo had found the smoker and split that beast in two. Unikardo just coughs a bit. As DoahShadow says, "See Jade, that's why every evil mastermind has a muscle." As Unikardo was recovering from the smoke he saw a beautiful young maiden wearing a ninja costume that was as white as she was.

Unikardo may be a demon body guard now, but when he was alive he was one of the greatest detectives ever. Well that was the past, this is now. Unikardo now stands a staggering 6 foot 3 inches. This meant that he towers over DoahShadow. His body is now made of steel not even a modern day bullet can piece it, now he serves his master and best friend. It's funny how the two of them died. Well that's a story for another time.

"Unikardo come over here." DoahShadow called out.

As Unikardo turned around to see the maiden again he saw that she wasn't their anymore.

"Unikardo what are you looking at?" Doahshadow asked.

"Nothing."

DoahShadow eyes his friend suspiciously before he looks back at Jade who was boiling mad because she was caught off guard by a smoker. Jade was unlike any women he has ever met in his entire life. She was from a well to do family but she despised the mundane lifestyle that came with it. That's why she became an assassin. As an assassin, she was in a league of her own. All of that attracted him to her. Besides she's not bad on the eyes. She's slightly shorter than him, has an amazing bust size and the cutest ass in the universe. Beautiful brown hair and of course her jade color eyes. DoahShadow chuckles to himself as he leads his team to the Inn of Ill Omen.

So we had entered.


End file.
